Knowledge decides WHAT to say.
Attitude decides HOW to say it.
Tact decides HOW MUCH to say.
Wisdom decides whether or not to say it.
Wise warriors have filters; foolish warriors take pride in being brutally honest. Having a filter is not a weakness, it is wisdom. Those who brag about being brutally honest seem to enjoy offending people more than they care about being honest. There is no wisdom in continually offending everyone around you. By all means, be honest, but be honest at the right time and in the right way. Remember, you don’t always have to give everyone your opinion.
Knowledge enables you to know the truth. It may come from your studies or from experience, but either way, that knowledge arms you with what you need to know to live a successful life and to help others along the way. In short, knowledge allows you to decide what to say in each circumstance. Without the correct knowledge, you are at a loss for words.
But knowledge is only the starting point when it comes to giving advice or helping others. Not only do you need to have knowledge concerning the situation, but how you say something will determine whether it is taken to heart or whether or not it falls of deaf ears.
Your attitude determines how you express your knowledge. If you are brutally honest, do you really think that the other person is going to be open to receiving your advice? If you want to help someone, you must present the information or advice to them in a way in which he or she will be open to receiving it. If you are abrasive in your manner, that most likely won’t happen.
If you are sincerely concerned with helping that person, it will come across in your attitude, in how you say what you need to say. If you are coming from a place of love and honor, it will show. Likewise, if you are just trying to demonstrate how smart you are, that will show as well. If you want to help, your attitude is very important.
Moreover, you don’t always have to say everything you know or you feel. If you know that the other person has made a total mess of his life, you don’t have to blatantly tell him that fact; I assure you, he already knows this and probably already feels terrible about it. He doesn’t need you, or anyone else, to drive that point home.
Tact is what helps you decide how much to say. Again, if you truly want to help the other person, it is important to be smart about how you approach the situation. Instead of being brutally honest, be tactfully honest. There is a huge difference between the two!
Finally, having the knowledge to help with the situation, the right attitude when you speak, and being tactful is not enough; you must also have the wisdom to know whether or not to say anything to start with.
You may know exactly what the person should have done, why it should have been done in that way, and what needs to be done to fix the situation, but that doesn’t mean the other person is ready to hear you. You must have the wisdom to decide whether or not the other person is ready to receive your advice.
I hardly ever give advice unless I am asked first, as most people will ask for advice when they are ready to receive it. If they don’t ask, they most likely don’t want your advice. Many people simply like to vent; they are not asking for your advice or for you to fix their problem. Forcing your advice on someone who is not ready to receive it is simply akin to you massaging your own ego. Don’t do it!
When you have the right knowledge, the right attitude, tact, and wisdom, then you are ready to help others. If you are missing one of these pieces, work on yourself first, before you decide you are ready to give advice to others. Always give advice from a place of love and caring, not from a place of trying to show them how intelligent you are. It is not about you; it is about them!
