Take Control of Your Life –
Respond, don’t React!
Bohdi Sanders
Have you ever heard someone say, “It’s not my fault! He made me do it?” Of course, we all have. We hear people try to justify their actions like this all the time. The fact is, nobody makes you do anything. You always make the choice about what you will and will not do. People try to blame their own behavior on many different people. Some blame their parents, others blame bullies, and still others may blame their teachers or someone else; but the hard truth is that you, and only you, are responsible for your actions. Other people may try to goad you into acting a certain way, but the responsibility for your actions rest on you.
If you find yourself constantly blaming other people for your actions, it maybe because you are reacting instead of responding to what others do or say. When you react to someone else, you do so without thinking, you just act. Acting without thinking is rarely a good idea. It is always better to think about what is going on and then respond as you choose, instead of reacting without thought. The prisons are full of people who have simply reacted out of anger, without thinking about the consequences of their actions.
In addition, when you are in the habit of reacting to others, you give them power over you. If you find someone who does not think before he acts or who cannot control his temper, you have found someone who you can manipulate. Believe me, there are many people in this world who love to set people up and have them make a fool of themselves, or to push people’s buttons until they lose their temper. If you don’t learn to think before you act and control your emotions, you will be manipulated throughout your life.
Some people have the false notion that if they don’t react to someone’s rude comments or unjust behavior, that they are allowing that person to get the best of them. This is simply not true. You do not have to react to anything or anyone. This doesn’t mean that you don’t notice what is going on around you; it only means that you refuse to take the bait. It is a sign of a mature person who refuses to be manipulated by anyone or anything.
Instead of reacting to every emotional trigger, see these triggers as tests. These tests are offered to you throughout life, over and over again, to see if you will take the bait and react rashly, or if you will maintain control and respond, or simply stand by and observe. When you start to see these small annoyances in life as tests, you will become more mindful and your self-control will grow stronger.
Just remember, you are not required to react or respond to anything or anyone. Only respond when you decide that your response is necessary. You learn much more by silently observing what goes on around you, than you do by responding to everything that is said or done. Become the wise, silent observer. Watch, listen and learn. Others will give you so much more information about themselves when you don’t react, but simply observe. Take in the information that others freely give you about themselves and become wiser, craftier, and more knowledgeable. This is much more profitable to you.
Never allow anyone to push your buttons. In fact, I would go even further and say get rid of your buttons altogether. Don’t give other people that power over you! Practice total control over your thoughts, words and actions. When you do this, you will start to see major changes in your life and you will find much more internal peace.
