Avoid friends who are detrimental
to your peace of mind.
(Gongs and Drums of Gampopa Precepts)
Maintain your piece of mind, no matter what is going on around you. This admonition is definitely easier if you are selective concerning who you allow into your life. If someone is detrimental to your piece of mind, they aren’t truly your friend. People use the word “friend” much too liberally in today’s world.
I will give you a tip, you don’t have 1,000, 3,000 or 5,000 friends. A friend is someone who you have developed a relationship with over many years, someone who has proven his trust and loyalty to you over time. A friend is not some total stranger who sends you an email and clicks the “Friend” button on you profile.
Just think about it. If you have 5,000 Facebook friends, and your house burns down, how many of those 5,000 “friends” are going to drop everything in their life and come help you or give you a place to live? How many of those 5,000 “friends” would put their life on the line to stand by you in a physical confrontation? How many of those 5,000 “friends” are there when you need a friend? And, I am not talking about shooting you a quick comment stating, “I am hoping things get better soon.” I am talking about being a true friend. I assure you that this number is much lower than you may think.
True friends are rare. You are blessed to have one or two. True friends will stand beside you when the proverbial “shit hits the fan.” Others simply watch and send you their best wishes. A true friend is there for you in the good times and the bad. He will give you the shirt off of his back to help you, as you should for him.
The word “friend” has been so bastardized that the vast majority of people don’t even understand the meaning anymore, much less how to be a real friend. To these people, friendship is taken as lightly as switching the channel on the television. It shouldn’t be that way for the warrior.
Strive to ensure that your real friends are men and women of character, honor and integrity. People who make you a better person, people who you can count on 100%. These will be people that you can count on for life, as they are not fickle or fair weather friends. And, when you have a true friend, be their true friend as well. Complete the circle of friendship. That is really the only kind of true friendship; everyone else is merely an acquaintance, a stranger, or an enemy. Think about this.
Dr. Bohdi Sanders ~ author of the award-winning bestseller,
Modern Bushido: Living a Life of Excellence
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