What Women Want

The wise focus their
attention inside.
Lao Tzu

I get a lot of emails, and many of them come from women who read my blogs or have read my book. One of the common topics that I hear repeated, not only in the emails that I received, but also in listening to conversations throughout my everyday travels, concerns what women actually want from a man. A lot of the emails that I receive are from female readers who say, “YES! The warrior is the kind of man that every woman wants! Where are men like this today?”

Let them know a real man,
who lives as he was meant to live.
Marcus Aurelius

It seems that no matter how hard ….Hollywood…., celebrities, feminists, etc. try to push the image of the metro-sexual male or the feminist man who has to depend on the wife to take care of things because he is a spineless, witless, buffoon, deep inside most women still love the stereotypical warrior which I write about in my book and blogs. They want a man who has character, integrity and honor. They want a man who has courage and who is willing to take care of them, provide for them, and protect them.

Now, I’m not saying that women want someone who simply wants to keep them pregnant and barefoot. That is not how the warrior looks at his wife or his girlfriend at all. If you have read much of my writing, you already know that. The warrior has the utmost respect for his wife and family. He spends time with them. They are the most important thing in the world to him, which is why he is willing to provide for them and protect them, even unto the death. No matter what other duties the warrior has, his wife and family always come first, if he is truly walking the path of the warrior. And this is something that every woman wants.

If you would be wise, provide for your house,
and love your wife in your arms. Fill her stomach,
clothe her back; oil is the remedy for her limbs.
Gladden her heart during your lifetime,
for she is an estate profitable to his lord.
Do not be harsh, for gentleness
masters her more than strength.
Give to her that for which she sighs
and that toward which her eye looks.
Ptah-Hotep

I realize that many of my readers will disagree with me on this point. They will want to argue that their duty to their country or their fellow soldiers comes first, or that their duty as a cop or a fireman comes first. To this I say hogwash! As a warrior, your first and foremost duty is to your wife and family, not your job or your profession. It is one thing to put other things first when you do not have a wife or family, but once you make that commitment, your priorities have to change. And this is what most women that have either written me or talked with me, seem to want – a man who is willing to put her first, a man that she can always count on to be there for her.

I can hear the feathers ruffling as I type, “What do you mean Bohdi?? Are you saying that I should neglect my duty??” Not at all, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that your wife and family have to come first. We all still have to work and do our job, and many times we had rather be at home with our family instead of working, but that’s life. This doesn’t mean that you don’t put your family first. Working is providing for your family, and is a necessity in life, but you had better have the pecking order straight in your mind. If you don’t put your family first, who will?

What I am saying is that the warrior walks by his own set of rules and values, his own code if you will. He has the courage to live by his own law. He isn’t a sheep. No one else controls him or tells him what does or does not come first in his life. He sets the rules and sometimes they may not jive with the norm of society. So what? He is not concerned with society’s political correctness or the way things have always been done. He is concerned with his personal duty, and he decides the hierarchy of his duties.

Highly evolved people have
their own conscience as pure law.
Lao Tzu

What I must do is all that concerns me,
not what the people think.
Emerson

The women that I have talked to want a man who is strong enough to decide what he believes in and who will stand for those beliefs. They want a man with backbone and character. They want someone who they can trust with their life, who they can depend on without question. Women want a man who they know is honest, sincere, and who will put their family first. A man who will honor and respect them is at the top of their list. No matter how much our “advanced” society pushes the image of the lovable buffoon as the image of the nice, desirable husband, this is not the feedback that women are giving me.

Do the character traits above sound familiar? Well, they do if you have spent much time reading my blog or have read Warrior Wisdom, they describe the warrior. The warrior is a man of honor, character, and integrity. He has a strong sense of filial duty and duty to his family. He is honest, trustworthy and sincere. He is a man of courage and has both the will and ability to back up his ideals. The warrior understands respect and honor, and they are a synergistic part of his life. The true warrior is truly the man that women describe to me as their perfect man.

The master warrior is
a man of character,
a man of wisdom and insight.
Forrest E. Morgan

Many women seem to go for the bad boy. Maybe this is because they really want someone who is a warrior, but their image of what the warrior really is, is skewed by movies and television. They consider a man who is rugged and tough to be the image of the warrior, but soon they find that this bad boy, is not a true warrior, but rather a thug. He lacks the character and principles of the true warrior, which is truly what women are looking for in a man. Soon they trade the bad boy for the nice guy, which although he may not be a warrior, he is at least not a thug and will provide a home for her.

Look for benefits that last.
Ten Bears

It is not enough to make something look good.
The underlying principle must be good.
Joyce Sequichie Hifler

What women are truly looking for is the perfect combination of the bad boy and the provider. The man who has principles, character, and is rugged and tough enough to protect her if the occasion arises. This is the picture that has been painted for me from the many emails that I have received, and it is the image of the true warrior – the man of excellence. Balance is important in everything, and I think that it is also important when it comes to what women what from men.

Stop talking about what the
good man is like, and just be one.
Marcus Aurelius

The superior man demands it of himself;
the inferior man demands it of others.
Confucius

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom