Is Honesty the Best Policy?

In whatever position you find yourself determine first your objective.
Marshall Ferdinand Foch

We hear the phrase that honesty is the best policy over and over again throughout our lives. But it is completely true? Is honesty always the best policy? Do we destroy our honor, character, and integrity by telling a lie? Does the true warrior, or the man or woman of character, go against his conscience every time he lies? Is being an honest person a black and white issue, or is there much more to it than always telling the truth, no matter what?

From an early age, most of us have been taught that it is not right to lie, that we should tell the truth. Whenever we were caught in a lie and things fell apart for us, we were told, always remember, honesty is the best policy, as if that was going to make us feel better about the mess that we made for ourselves. We were taught this reverently, and by the same people and culture that taught us about Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny.

Once we got older, we realized that the very same people, who drilled honesty into our conscience mind, lied to us on a frequent basis. Sure, most of these were “little, white lies,” but they obviously weren’t following the, “honesty is the best policy” tenet. There were lies to make us feel better, lies to surprise us, lies about life circumstances, this list could go on and on.

If you think back, you can probably remember many lies which you were told. These were not meant in any sort of malicious way, but were just part of life for most people. But still, we were taught that honesty is the best policy. Either honesty is the best policy or it is not. The question is whether or not honesty is in fact, the best policy. And, the answer is, “it depends.”

I can feel my readers cringe even as I write this. I bet many of you are thinking, “How can Bohdi say that when he writes books on honor, character, integrity, and honesty?” To answer your question, I can say that because it is the truth, and we are trying to be honest here, right?

Honesty is not always the best policy; it depends on your objective. There are times when honesty is not only not the best policy, but when it is also just plain stupid and selfish. Yikes! I can feel another universal shutter of disgust, right through my keyboard! But stay with me for a few minutes.

While I have heard many preachers preach over and over that honesty is always the best policy and there is never any reason for lying, this is really nothing more than a generalization. Even the people who preach this message don’t truly believe what they are saying. Would these very same people not lie to a murderer in order to save their wife or kids? If they wouldn’t, I wouldn’t recommend listening to anything that they say anyway.

To generalize is to be an idiot.
William Blake

Let’s look at an example that will clarify my point. Pretend you were a German living in Nazi Germany during World War II, and that you were hiding a young Jewish girl from the Nazi’s. If a group of Nazi soldiers came to your door and asked you if you had seen or knew of the whereabouts of a young Jewish girl, would it be the best policy to be honest with them? Not if your objective is to save the life of this young girl, it wouldn’t be.

You see, honesty is not always the best policy. That is living by a rigid, black and white rule which leaves no room to make needed adjustments when they are needed to achieve your objectives. No, I am not saying that you should say whatever you please in order to get your way.

I am saying that, as a true warrior, you have to base your actions on what is right and wrong, not on some rigid set of rules. While this may sound like the same thing at first, it isn’t. There is a big difference between basing all of your actions according to what you feel is right and wrong, and basing your decisions on some rigid set of rules that you never break, no matter what.

The true warrior or person of character does not lower his standards simply because he tells a lie. It depends on the circumstances and the intention behind that lie. In the example above, it would obviously be dishonorable for you to tell the truth and hand over the girl to those butchers. You definitely would not have lowered your standards because you were dishonest with those soldiers.

You did what the circumstances required of you to do in order to achieve your noble objective – saving this girl’s life. In this situation, lying is completely honorable, and honesty would definitely not have been the best policy. I can give you many examples that back up this truth, but you get the point.

Honor and integrity do not exist in a nice, neat box. They aren’t composed of specific rules that are carved in stone. They are much more involved and complex than that.  They originate from the heart, the mind, and the intentions behind your actions.

Hard and fast rules are made for people who cannot be depended on to think for themselves and do the right thing. This is why we have laws. If everyone lived their life according to what is right, and with good intentions, there would be no need for laws, but we all know that is not the case.

The true warrior, on the other hand, should live according to what is right. He should continually search his intentions to ensure that his heart, mind, and spirit are right. Honor comes from the inside. If things are not right on the inside, they cannot be right on the outside, no matter how they may appear to those around you. Others may not be able to tell the difference, but you know whether or not you are honorable.

Honesty is only the best policy when it is the best choice to achieve your honorable objectives. The catch is, your objectives must be honorable. Dishonesty is never an acceptable option for achieving selfish, personal goals like closing a business deal or just plain trying to get your own way.

The key is basing all of your actions and your speech on what is right, not what is right for you, but what is right, as in what is just. There is a big difference between what may be best for you personally and what is just. Focus on what is right (just) in every situation, and you will not have to worry about whether or not to lie. Let righteousness be your guide.

Honesty is not always the best policy; right intention combined with right action is always the best policy.

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself.
Henry Ward Beecher

Bohdi Sanders

Author of:
Modern Bushido: Living a Life of Excellence
and
The Secrets of Worldly Wisdom: Your Key to Success

CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOKS BY BOHDI SANDERS

Are you a good person? When you get right down to it, this is the most important question in life. If you are not a good person, it does not matter how many degrees you have, it does not matter how great your martial arts skills are, it does not matter how much money you make. In the end, the bottom line is, are you a good person.

What is a good person? A good person is someone who helps others, who goes out of his way to do nice things for others, who shares both his life and resources with those around him. A good person tries his best to protect those who he can protect. He tries to be positive and encourage others who are having a hard time. Without helping others, it really is impossible to be a completely good person.

You may argue that a monk who isolates himself in the wilderness is a really good person. He doesn’t wrong others, focuses on strengthening his spirit, prays, and in general, does harm to none. But is this really being a good person? Sure the isolated monk is not harming anyone, is focused on improving himself spiritually, and is devoted to developing a relationship with the Creator, but is this enough to be considered a really good person? If you look at the monk’s action from another point of view, he could be considered very selfish and narcissistic.

None of the sages, prophets, or great teachers live a life of isolation. Oh, they may have spent periods of time in isolation, as should we all, but their main focus was on helping and enlightening others, not simply improving themselves. This is an important consideration for the true warrior. While it is true that the true warrior is focused on self-improvement and making his life a life of excellence, it should not be focused on merely selfish ends.

If the warrior is not truly a good person inside, he is merely another narcissistic, ego driven person who is doing all that he is doing simply to make himself feel better about who he is. Without service to others, he is not a true warrior. Being a good person is truly the cornerstone of being a true warrior. If you aren’t a good person, nothing else really matters when you get right down to it; you are simply another self-centered person who has martial arts as a hobby instead of knitting or woodworking.

Don’t get so caught up in your work, your training, your meditation, or anything else, that you neglect to do what you can to make other people’s lives better. You may think that you can’t really do anything to help others because you are barely scraping by yourself. After all, how can you help anyone else if you can’t even help yourself? While it is true that you can’t share what you don’t have, it is also true that we all have enough to make someone else’s life a little better.

It cost nothing to give someone a compliment or give someone a warm smile. It cost nothing to help an elderly lady with her bags. It cost nothing to listen to someone who needs someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry on. I go for early morning walks, and one of my neighbors is in her 90′s. During my walk, I take just a few seconds to take her newspaper from the street and put it at her doorstep. Mind you, this is a small act, but it does enable her to get her newspaper without having to walk down 5-6 steps and out to the street. She has no idea of who is doing this, and that doesn’t matter. It is just a simple thing that is nice to do.

You may think that this is really not “helping” her or that it is just me trying to make myself feel good, and that there is really no good coming from this act, but you never know. This simple act may prevent her from falling one morning. The smallest acts of kindness can have ripples that you could never imagine. You simply don’t know what all of the consequences of your actions may be, both the bad actions and the good actions. Don’t be concerned with the consequences or getting recognition; just do your best to help make others’ lives better as you go through your day.

There may in fact be no consequences to the example that I gave you about my neighbor’s newspapers besides making it easier for her to get her morning paper, but that is enough. But then again, who knows; the law of karma is always at work. Maybe when I am an old man, my daily newspapers may mysteriously appear at my front door step instead of under my car, in the middle of my flowers, or out in the street (the usual places for me to pick up my papers). The bottom line is, you should do acts such as this simply because it is the nice thing to do.

A warrior who only thinks of himself is not a true warrior, I don’t care how skilled he may be in the martial arts. Being a truly good person is the basis for being a true warrior. I will not let another day go by that I don’t do something nice for as many people as I can. Life is too short and too hard; do what you can to make the lives of those who cross your path just a little better, even if all you can do is give them a smile and treat them with respect.

Are you a good person?

What have you done for someone else today?

Love & Annihilation: The Infinite Warrior Cycle

To do a great right, do a little wrong.
Shakespeare

I have often thought about whether or not it is possible to integrate the peaceful teachings of the sages with the total destruction that a skilled warrior can render on his enemy. How does the warrior balance the destructive, martial side of his life, with the calm, peace-loving, side which is taught by masters such as Lao Tzu and Jesus? As I have said many times, the warrior is a peace-loving individual. I totally enjoy the wisdom of the elders and try to live according to the teachings of the sages such as Lao Tzu, but how does one integrate teachings such as those found in the Tao Te Ching with what must be done to protect himself and those he loves in times of crisis?

This is a balancing act for the warrior, and one which requires time spent in meditation and deep thought concerning his personal code of ethics. He has to figure out exactly how far he is willing to go before he finds himself in a life-or-death situation. He has to determine what he must do to balance the teachings that are a part of his life, with the things which, at times, must be done in order to fulfill his duties as a warrior. This is a tall order and takes time spent in quiet contemplation for the warrior to fully come to grips with how to balance these two parts of his life.

For when moral value is considered,
the concern is not the actions, which are seen,
but rather with their inner principles, which are not seen.
Kant

Most things can be perceived in more than one way, just as the glass can be viewed as half full or half empty. If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of having to get physical with someone, think of the reasons you must fight, not how sad you feel at the prospect of having to do damage to your enemy. Think of the duty that you have to protect those around you, not of your desire for things to be different. Think of what you fight for, not what you fight against. What you fight for determines whether your fight is just or unjust.

It is circumstance and proper measure that give an action its character,
and make it either good or bad.
Plutarch

Can this be done with love? Can a warrior walk in love as Lao Tzu, Jesus, Buddha, and others taught, while at the same time destroying his enemy? He can if his perception is right. When you must fight, think of fighting for those you love. This is the flip side of fighting against those you hate. Must you hate your enemy in order to stand for what you know is just and defeat him? I don’t think so. You do not have to allow your emotions to drift into anger and hate in order to use your martial arts skills. In fact, getting emotional can cloud your thinking and hinder your success.

The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life.
Samurai Maxim

Remember to preserve a calm soul amid difficulties.
Horace

Control your emotions and your thoughts. This is the key to finding balance between the spiritual side of the warrior which tries to live according to the wisdom of the sages, and the physical side of the warrior which has the power to destroy. You have to know that your actions are just. A guilty conscience can be dangerous for the warrior. If he feels deep inside that his enemy’s anger against him is just, he will have a hard time going against this enemy. The warrior must stand on the side of justice, and when he is in the wrong, he must own up to the error of his ways, not continue to maintain a position which he knows is not right.

In critical times, one must be devoted utterly to the cause of justice.
Gichin Funakoshi

So, can the warrior balance the spiritual and physical duties of the warrior lifestyle? The answer is absolutely, but as with so much of the warrior lifestyle, it takes work. The warrior lifestyle is a lifestyle of excellence, and a life of excellence takes effort. It doesn’t just happen naturally while you are sitting on the couch watching television. You have to work for it. You have to take the time to develop yourself – spirit, mind, and body. It is up to you, nobody is going to do it for you. When it comes right down to it, nobody else cares. It is extremely rare to find anyone else who really cares about the truly important parts of your life. You’re basically on your own in this arena, as you are in most others.

Each individual is responsible for his own evolution.
Lao Tzu

Prepare yourself for you must travel alone.
Book of the Golden Precepts

If you are not willing to slow down and spend some time in quiet meditation and contemplation, you will never have a deep understanding of this essential balance. Exercise your mind, and think for yourself. This sounds so simple, but it actually takes more effort and discipline than your physical training. The mind can be hard to control. Control it nonetheless! Be the master of your thoughts, not mastered by your thoughts. Determine your code of ethics and find balance today.

One should know what our convictions are, and stand for them…
therefore it is wise to be as clear as possible about one’s subjective principles.
Carl Yung

Perfection is attained by slow degrees;
She requires the hand of time.
Voltaire

Bohdi Sanders
Warrior Wisdom

Becoming Clear

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.
Lao Tzu

Stress, worry, anxiety, and fear can cloud your mind. When these emotions are allowed to take control of your mind, it is hard to see things clearly or make good decisions. Your mind can’t focus and will began to become “muddy” if you will. It is hard to think rationally when your mind is bombarded with these emotions. Just as a crystal clear lake can become muddy when the sediment at the bottom is disturbed, your mind will become “muddy” when it is disturbed.

Don’t let trifles disturb your tranquility of mind…
Ignore the inconsequential.
Greenville Kleiser

Quit minds cannot be perplexed or frightened
but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace,
like a clock during a thunderstorm.
Robert Louis Stevenson

So what do you do to clear your mind when it has become cloudy from these emotions? Do the same thing as the lake does to become clear again – nothing. The lake simply waits for the muddy sediment particles to settle back where they belong, and once again the lake becomes crystal clear. You should do the same thing. Quit thinking about the issue at hand. Just put that subject on the shelf for a while. Do something else like meditate, work in the garden, work out, etc.

Don’t let worldly thoughts and anxieties trouble your mind.
Ramakrishna

Only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted.
Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.
Margolis

It really doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you get your mind off of the problem that is causing these emotions to cloud your thinking. Just get away from it and allow the mud to settle. When you come back, your mind, like the lake, will have cleared up and you will be able to see things differently. Once again, you will be able to think rationally and intelligently, the way the warrior should think.

The mind deludes itself.
In matters of the mind, you must stay on your guard.
Takuan Soho

The key here is to be patient. You can’t make the mud settle back to the bottom of the lake by pushing it back down; it has to settle on it own, at its own pace. Likewise, you can’t force yourself to clear your mind of stressful thoughts, unless you are proficient in meditation techniques and mind control. You have to just get away from those thoughts for a while, and the easiest way to do that is to get your mind on something else.

The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.
Spanish Proverb

Your mind can’t hold two different thoughts at the same time. Don’t believe me? Just try it… Think of a picture of a dog while at the same time you think of a picture of an elephant. Were you successful? The same thing goes for negative, stressful thoughts. If you are thinking of something else, they can’t remain in your mind. Sounds simple, but it is true. Next time you find that your mind is clouded by negative thinking, get busy doing something else, even if it is cleaning your house. Hey, if it doesn’t work, at least you will have a clean house, either way you win…

Be master of the mind rather than mastered by the mind.
Zen Maxim

Bohdi Sanders
Warrior Wisdom

Thought Control

The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts.
Heraclitus

Many people believe that their thoughts don’t really matter. They think that their thoughts don’t matter as long as they don’t act on their negative thoughts. What they fail to realize though is that everyone’s thoughts contain certain energy patterns. Physicists are now proving that your thoughts actually do have power; they are not just harmless little things that don’t matter.

Thoughts are forces.
Ralph Waldo Trine

Every single thought you have can be assessed in
terms of whether it strengthens or weakens you.
Wayne Dyer

Heraclitus knew this many centuries ago. He tells us that your thoughts have an effect on your soul. He goes on to say, “The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny…it is the light that guides your way.” Your thoughts are much more important to your character development than you may suspect.

Be careful of your thoughts;
they are the beginning of your acts.
Lao Tzu

The whole dignity of man is in thought.
Labor then to think right.
Pascal

Thought precedes action. Many scientists today believe that if you continue to think about something, what you think about will eventually find a way to manifest itself in your life. If this is true, it means that what you think about is extremely important. It has already been proven that your thoughts control your emotions, thus to control your emotions, which every warrior must do, you must control your thoughts. Controlling your thoughts is the ultimate test of your self-discipline. Control your thoughts; control your destiny.

When we direct our thoughts properly,
we can control our emotions.
W. Clement Stone

You should keep your mind pure, for what a person things,
he becomes – this is the eternal mystery.
The Maitri Upanishad

Understand that what you think about expands.
Wayne Dyer

Reprinted from
Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom

Roll With the Changes

Many people have problems rolling with the changes. They don’t seem to like change, especially to their preconceived ideas of how things should be. They map out their event, their trip, or their life and then they try to stick to their plan no matter what. To them, stubbornness and follow-through is a badge of honor. And sometimes this is true, but not all the time.

The warrior shouldn’t be stubborn, at least not in some areas of his life. When you see conditions have changed, you should change your strategy. Too many people believe that it is their duty to continue on a path once they have started down that path. This is wrong thinking. It is not wrong to discard your plans once things have changed. You have to constantly change your strategy to fit the constantly changing environment.

When facing impossible conditions,
sometimes it is in your best interest to retreat.
The I Ching

Parents teach kids that if they start a new sport or hobby, they have to follow through to the end, no matter what. If they find that they don’t enjoy it or in fact hate it, people seem to think that it is their duty to make them continue to the end, in order to teach them not to be quitters. Kids should be taught not to be quitters, but they should also be taught to re-evaluate their goals when things are not working for them. It is one thing to quit something because you don’t think that you can do it or because of fear of failing; it is quite another to quit because you found that it no longer fits your interest or your objectives.

Any experience can be transformed into something of value.
Vash Young

The same thing is true for warriors. Don’t feel you have to fight to the end once you have engaged in a conflict. Sometimes it is in your best interest to retreat and re-evaluate the situation. Always think rationally, not emotionally. Don’t continue to fight an impossible battle because of what others may or may not think. Change strategies when they need to be changed. Remember your goal in a physical conflict is to protect your life first and defeat the enemy second, not to “not be a quitter.” Do what it takes to achieve your ultimate objective.

The first law of war is to preserve ourselves and destroy the enemy.
Mao Tse-Tung

I have heard many people make statements like, “Well he may kill me, but he will know he has been in a fight.” SO WHAT?? What does it matter if you give your enemy a couple of bumps and bruises if you are dead? That is not rational thinking; that is emotional testosterone. The warrior has to think rationally. Don’t make decisions based on your emotions or what someone else who is watching may think of your actions.

Our actions are like rhymes:
anyone can fit them in to mean what he likes.
La Rochefoucauld

Who is going to be there to protect your family and friends if you end up dead because you are too proud to re-evaluate the situation? The fool rushes in because of pride; the wise man evaluates each situation according to his objectives. Think rationally, not emotionally.

Be careful of your thoughts; they are the beginning of your acts.
Lao Tzu

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom