Is Honesty the Best Policy?

In whatever position you find yourself determine first your objective.
Marshall Ferdinand Foch

We hear the phrase that honesty is the best policy over and over again throughout our lives. But it is completely true? Is honesty always the best policy? Do we destroy our honor, character, and integrity by telling a lie? Does the true warrior, or the man or woman of character, go against his conscience every time he lies? Is being an honest person a black and white issue, or is there much more to it than always telling the truth, no matter what?

From an early age, most of us have been taught that it is not right to lie, that we should tell the truth. Whenever we were caught in a lie and things fell apart for us, we were told, always remember, honesty is the best policy, as if that was going to make us feel better about the mess that we made for ourselves. We were taught this reverently, and by the same people and culture that taught us about Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny.

Once we got older, we realized that the very same people, who drilled honesty into our conscience mind, lied to us on a frequent basis. Sure, most of these were “little, white lies,” but they obviously weren’t following the, “honesty is the best policy” tenet. There were lies to make us feel better, lies to surprise us, lies about life circumstances, this list could go on and on.

If you think back, you can probably remember many lies which you were told. These were not meant in any sort of malicious way, but were just part of life for most people. But still, we were taught that honesty is the best policy. Either honesty is the best policy or it is not. The question is whether or not honesty is in fact, the best policy. And, the answer is, “it depends.”

I can feel my readers cringe even as I write this. I bet many of you are thinking, “How can Bohdi say that when he writes books on honor, character, integrity, and honesty?” To answer your question, I can say that because it is the truth, and we are trying to be honest here, right?

Honesty is not always the best policy; it depends on your objective. There are times when honesty is not only not the best policy, but when it is also just plain stupid and selfish. Yikes! I can feel another universal shutter of disgust, right through my keyboard! But stay with me for a few minutes.

While I have heard many preachers preach over and over that honesty is always the best policy and there is never any reason for lying, this is really nothing more than a generalization. Even the people who preach this message don’t truly believe what they are saying. Would these very same people not lie to a murderer in order to save their wife or kids? If they wouldn’t, I wouldn’t recommend listening to anything that they say anyway.

To generalize is to be an idiot.
William Blake

Let’s look at an example that will clarify my point. Pretend you were a German living in Nazi Germany during World War II, and that you were hiding a young Jewish girl from the Nazi’s. If a group of Nazi soldiers came to your door and asked you if you had seen or knew of the whereabouts of a young Jewish girl, would it be the best policy to be honest with them? Not if your objective is to save the life of this young girl, it wouldn’t be.

You see, honesty is not always the best policy. That is living by a rigid, black and white rule which leaves no room to make needed adjustments when they are needed to achieve your objectives. No, I am not saying that you should say whatever you please in order to get your way.

I am saying that, as a true warrior, you have to base your actions on what is right and wrong, not on some rigid set of rules. While this may sound like the same thing at first, it isn’t. There is a big difference between basing all of your actions according to what you feel is right and wrong, and basing your decisions on some rigid set of rules that you never break, no matter what.

The true warrior or person of character does not lower his standards simply because he tells a lie. It depends on the circumstances and the intention behind that lie. In the example above, it would obviously be dishonorable for you to tell the truth and hand over the girl to those butchers. You definitely would not have lowered your standards because you were dishonest with those soldiers.

You did what the circumstances required of you to do in order to achieve your noble objective – saving this girl’s life. In this situation, lying is completely honorable, and honesty would definitely not have been the best policy. I can give you many examples that back up this truth, but you get the point.

Honor and integrity do not exist in a nice, neat box. They aren’t composed of specific rules that are carved in stone. They are much more involved and complex than that.  They originate from the heart, the mind, and the intentions behind your actions.

Hard and fast rules are made for people who cannot be depended on to think for themselves and do the right thing. This is why we have laws. If everyone lived their life according to what is right, and with good intentions, there would be no need for laws, but we all know that is not the case.

The true warrior, on the other hand, should live according to what is right. He should continually search his intentions to ensure that his heart, mind, and spirit are right. Honor comes from the inside. If things are not right on the inside, they cannot be right on the outside, no matter how they may appear to those around you. Others may not be able to tell the difference, but you know whether or not you are honorable.

Honesty is only the best policy when it is the best choice to achieve your honorable objectives. The catch is, your objectives must be honorable. Dishonesty is never an acceptable option for achieving selfish, personal goals like closing a business deal or just plain trying to get your own way.

The key is basing all of your actions and your speech on what is right, not what is right for you, but what is right, as in what is just. There is a big difference between what may be best for you personally and what is just. Focus on what is right (just) in every situation, and you will not have to worry about whether or not to lie. Let righteousness be your guide.

Honesty is not always the best policy; right intention combined with right action is always the best policy.

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself.
Henry Ward Beecher

Bohdi Sanders

Author of:
Modern Bushido: Living a Life of Excellence
and
The Secrets of Worldly Wisdom: Your Key to Success

CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOKS BY BOHDI SANDERS

Modern Bushido gets a raving review from martial arts legend, Loren W. Christensen!

Bohdi Sanders’ new book, Modern Bushido: Living a Life of Excellence, is receiving great initial reviews!

It has received a glowing review from martial arts legend and hall of fame inductee, Loren W. Christensen. Loren is the author of over 40 books, most on the martial arts, self-defense, and the warrior lifestyle.

The review is posted below:

Another Bohdi Classic

The longer you’re in the martial arts (I’ve been training and teaching since 1965) the more you realize that it’s so much more than simply sparring, kicking a bag, and thrashing about on a mat. While these things are important and critical to your martial arts journey, they are only part of it.

To see more reviews for Modern Bushido, click here to go to the reviews on Amazon.com:
MODERN BUSHIDO REVIEWS

Tale of Two Pebbles

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune
of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender,
who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer’s beautiful daughter. So he
proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer’s debt if he could marry his daughter.
Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the
cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the
matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble
into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble
from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her
father’s debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her
father’s debt would still be forgiven.

3) If she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into
jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer’s field. As
they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he
picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two
black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick
a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have
done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have
told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should know that there were two black pebbles in the bag and
expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to
save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the
hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and
logical thinking. The girl’s dilemma cannot be solved with traditional
logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above
logical answers.

What would you recommend that the girl do?

Well, here is what she did. . .

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble.
Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the
pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

“Oh, how clumsy of me!” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the
bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I
picked.”

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had
picked the white one.

And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl
changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely
advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY?

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don’t
attempt to think or we confuse worry with constructive thinking.
There is always a way out; you just have to find it.

Have a week filled with positive thoughts and sound decisions.

Bohdi Sanders

CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOKS BY BOHDI SANDERS

Breaking News from the USA Book News:

USA BOOK NEWS ANNOUNCES the
WINNERS AND FINALISTS OF
THE “BEST BOOKS 2010” AWARDS

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Mainstream and Independent Titles Score Top Honors
in the 7th Annual “Best Books” Awards. Among the winners
is Bohdi Sanders’ book, Wisdom of the Elders, which won a
1st Place Award. This is the second book award that Bohdi
Sanders has won this year.

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Sanders’ first award was for his highly acclaimed book,
Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior,
which also won a 1st Place Award from the National Indie
Excellence Book Awards.

Both of these books, as well as Sanders’ other books, are
available through Dr. Sanders’ website, TheWisdomWarrior.com
and through Amazon.com.

Pick You Battles

If a battle cannot be won, do not fight it.
Sun Tzu

You have to pick your battles wisely. Not every conflict is worth turning
into a major battle. There are certain battles which simply cannot be won no
matter how much effort you put into them or what strategies you use. They
are simply losing causes and fighting such battles does little to help you
accomplish your ultimate objectives. The wise man will not let his pride get
in the way of obtaining his goals, and fighting a battle which cannot be won
is a prime example of allowing your pride to cloud your thinking.

What lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do.
Aristotle

It is important to keep in mind that retreating from an individual battle
does not mean that you are surrendering or declaring defeat in the war. A
battle is no more than that – one battle. To continue with the battlefield/war
analogy, a battle is simply one skirmish; your ultimate objective is to win the
war. Many a pawn has to be sacrificed in a chess match in order to capture
your opponent’s king, which is ultimately all that matters in the overall scheme
of things.

Always keep your ultimate objective in mind. Don’t let your pride or anger
interfere with your overall victory. I know that this is easier said than done at
times, but it is a very important part of the game, and one that takes some
self-discipline and practice to perfect. Have an overall plan for victory. Be
willing to sacrifice a battle here and there in order to win the war in the end,
and don’t expend energy fighting a battle which cannot be won at any cost.
Be rational and deliberate.

Not being able to govern events, I govern myself.
Montaigne

Many people feel the need to fight a losing battle just to prove to themselves or
others that they are committed to their cause. This is not someone who is
ultimately concerned with their final objective, but rather someone who is
concerned with impressing those around them. This kind of action has more to
do with pride than it does with strategy or common sense. Don’t get wrapped up
in what other people think about your actions. Stay focused on your ultimate
objective.

The secret of success is before attempting anything, be very clear about why you
are doing it.
Guan Yin Tzu

There is wisdom behind Sun Tzu’s teaching. Fighting a battle that cannot be won
is simply wasting your time, energy and resources. It is not the act of staying
busy that makes you successful; it is what you are busy doing that matters in the
end. Don’t do something merely for the sake of doing something. Have a purpose
and strategy behind everything that you do. Sometimes it is wiser to do nothing,
at least what looks like nothing to the outside world, than it is to do something
just because you think you need to be active.

The act of waiting for the ideal moment or simply patiently mulling over the
situation, is not the same thing as doing nothing. What may seem like doing
nothing to other people, may actually be good strategy on your part. Do not
act because of your concern about what other people may think; their thoughts
should not influence your actions. Take time to meditate on each situation and
you will know what you have to do.

You must carefully consider the merits of any action.
Takuan Soho

Don’t fight losing battles. Move with wisdom, not emotion. Let strategy guide
your actions, not pride or anger. Always focus on your ultimate goal. Pick your
battles wisely and strategically in order to accomplish your end goal. It is not
the battle that counts, but rather winning the war. Always think rationally. If
you will do this, you will not fight the battles that you cannot win; instead you
will carefully select your battles to accomplish your ultimate goal.

In whatever position you find yourself, determine first your objective.
Marshall Ferdinand Foch

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom

Adapt or Die

The wise man adapts himself to the circumstances.
Confucius

The warrior lives by a certain set of
standards, a code of honor if you will. There are certain things that he will
not do because those things go against his beliefs and the standards which he
has set for himself. Many of his principles are not open to compromise; they
are set in stone and he refuses to bend where they are concerned, but this does
not mean that he is inflexible. Although the warrior is not willing to bend
where his principles are concerned, he must be flexible in his strategy.

First say to yourself what you would be;
and then do what you have to do.
Epictetus

Warriors have to be able to adapt to the
changing circumstances. The willow bends and adapts during the storm and is not
broken, where the mighty oak does not bend and will break during the storm. The
warrior must be able to change tactics as the
situation changes. He will adapt his methods to that which the present circumstance requires. Not to do so would be foolish and costly.

This is not to say that the warrior should
lower his standards or set aside his ethics as he sees fit.
There is a difference in changing your strategy to fit the circumstances and in
changing your ethics to suit the situation. This is where
time spent meditating on your code of ethics and honor comes into play. You
must be clear about what you believe and why you hold those beliefs. Change
your methods to accomplish your goal; don’t compromise your ethics to serve
your methods. This may seem like a subtle distinction,
but it is an important one, especially for the warrior.

The secret of success is before attempting anything,
be very clear about why you are doing it.
Guan Yin Tzu

In today’s society, our culture is changing rapidly. This means that the warrior will have to adapt his strategies and methods to be successful in today’s political climate. While being straight forward is to be commended, you do have to carefully consider both your actions and your words, especially in a politically correct, litigation crazy culture. Trying to handle situations the same way as warriors might have even 50 years ago can get you into big trouble.

For example, 50 years ago, if some jerk was using file language or being crude and obnoxious at a public gathering, in front of ladies, chances are there would be a man there who would shut his mouth for him, and not in a peaceful way. On top of that, those around him who have most likely been appreciative of his actions, and if by chance law enforcement was called, they would have probably hauled the obnoxious jerk off to jail instead of the guy who punched this bum in the mouth. Times have changed…

Today, if the same thing happened, it is pretty much considered commonplace. Everyone would basically go about their own business and the jerk would not be called out concerning his behavior. And, if by chance someone did address his behavior and punched him in the mouth, guess who will end up going to the jail house? Not the file-mouthed jerk, oh no, he was innocently assaulted by some macho brute. This is just one example, but you get the point.

Do that which will not afflict you afterward,
nor oblige you to repent.
Pythagoras

The warrior has to adapt and change his strategies for handling situations like the one described above. Not to do so is simply unwise. This doesn’t mean that you have to allow things such as I described above go unaddressed; it simply mean that you have to be smart and determine a better (more acceptable) way of addressing inappropriate behavior.

Emerson stated, “If one method fails, try another, and suit your methods to the characters you have to deal with.” Today’s warrior has to deal with a totally different breed of characters. It is to your advantage to adapt your methods and strategies to fit the culture and the people that you have to deal with in today’s society. Adhere to the virtues of old, but make sure that you adapt your actions to the times. Change your strategies and methods – not your standards or your ethics.

Each is responsible for his own actions.
H. L. Hunt

(Edited from Warrior Wisdom: The Warrior’s Path)

Bohdi

Warrior Wisdom

Men of Honor?

I have written many times about the difference in being a true warrior as apposed to merely being someone who is trained to fight or skilled at fighting. There is a difference in being a soldier and in truly being a warrior. This is not to say that soldiers are not warriors, but the fact that someone is enlisted in the military and receives a paycheck from the government does not automatically make this person a warrior. It may make him (or her) a fighter, but that is simply a fighter; it takes much more than martial skills to be a true warrior.

Think, feel, and act like a warrior.
Set yourself apart from the rest of
society by your personal excellence.
Forrest E. Morgan

If we examine history, we can find many good examples which illustrate what I mean. Let’s look at Hector and Achilles from the Trojan War. Most people consider both of these men great warriors, but were they really? There is a great difference between these two. While it is obviously true that both of these men were skilled in the art of war and were proficient in their martial arts skills, they were very different men. If you were to see them both on the battlefield, you may be inclined to argue that there was no difference in them; they were both able to bring a world of hurt down on their enemy.

So what made them different? The answer lies internally. The difference in the two men is what sets the true warrior apart from the mere fighter. Think about what motivated each of these men. Let’s examine Achilles’ motivation first.

Achilles was motivated by fame and fortune. He trained and fought for his own personal gain. The reason that he and his men participated in the Trojan War was to preserve his name as a “great warrior” throughout history. This was not necessarily out of the normal for men during this time period; many men desired to obtain fame and fortune by their exploits on the field of battle. Achilles was no different. He greatly desired to be known as a larger-than-life figure, and he achieved his goal, as you well know. But fame and fortune were not the only factors which drove Achilles to use his martial skills.

The superior man seeks what is right;
the inferior one, what is profitable.
Confucius

Achilles also was moved by his emotions. After his cousin fell in battle, the enraged Achilles took his anger out on Hector. This was purely an emotional action, void of any rational thought. He simply did not care about the facts, about whether or not his cousin’s death was just, or the circumstances surrounding his death. All he cared about was his own feelings, feelings which led him to act out of selfishness and revenge, not rational thought.

Remember to preserve a calm soul amid difficulties.
Horace

To summarize the factors which motivated Achilles’ actions:

1) He was motivated by fame and fortune
2) He was motivated by his emotions
3) He was motivated by revenge

The common denominator in these three factors can be boiled down to one word – selfishness. Achilles was narcissistic. He cared little about anything other than his own desires. He wanted glory. He reveled in being thought of as the greatest warrior of his time. He spoke of honor, but his view of honor was warped. It is indisputable that he was a skilled fighter, but are these the characteristics of a true warrior?

Now let’s take a look at Hector. Hector acted from rational thought in all of his actions. He was not motivated by what was best for himself, but was concerned about what was best for his country and his people. He scolded his brother for putting his own desires ahead of everything else, thus putting his countrymen at risk, and ultimately destroying them. Even in battle, Hector never lost sight of true honor, allowing his enemy to take care of their dead and injured.

The superior man does not give up good conduct
because the inferior man rails against him.
Hsun-Tzu

When Hector’s brother was about to be killed, he intervened and did what was right, instead of what was expected from the protocol of the day. When Achilles sought Hector out for his revenge, with one command, Hector could have had Achilles killed without risking his life, but he met the situation with honor. Even in the face of insults and threats from Achilles, Hector kept a rational head and tried to make a pact of honor for the victor to respect his fallen opponent, a noble act that Achilles blatantly refused, ultimately disgracing himself in his tactless display of Hector’s body.

The man of principle never forgets what he is,
because of what others are.
Baltasar Gracian

The differences between these two men demonstrate the differences between a true warrior and the mere fighter. It is the internal differences which matter in the end. The difference between Hector and Achilles boils down to honor and intention. Hector had true honor and acted with integrity and pure intention, whereas Achilles acted from a place of selfishness, rage and unbridled emotion. Before his death, Achilles seem to see the error in his ways, but we really don’t know if he was acting from a place of honor when he saved Hector’s cousin or if he was acting from a place of selfish desire.

For when moral value is considered,
the concern is not the actions,
which are seen, but rather with
their inner principles, which are not seen.
Kant

It is the character that makes someone a true warrior, not simply his martial arts skills. Martial arts/fighting skills are merely one component of the warrior lifestyle, not the be-all end-all. The true warrior acts from a place of wisdom, honor and integrity. He rationally thinks about this words and actions, before he speaks or acts. He control his emotions, instead of allowing his emotions to control him.

While Achilles saw the error in his ways, it wasn’t until after his rage had subsided and he had taken the life of an honorable man that he saw his error. He allowed his anger and emotions to control his actions instead of his rational mind. His actions were not concerned with what was right, but only with what he desired during the present moment.

Although Achilles bested Hector in one on one combat, Hector was the better man and the true warrior. There is a difference in a fighter and a warrior. There is a difference in doing what’s right and in doing whatever you feel like doing. There is a difference in real honor and in perceived honor. The difference originates from within the human spirit and is a conscious decision. Achilles was a great fighter; Hector was a true warrior.

The glory of great men must always be measured
against the means they have used to acquire it.
La Rochefoucauld

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom

Warrior Wisdom Wins Prestigeous Book Award

Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior, the first book in the Warrior Wisdom Series, has won the 1st Place award in its category in the 2010 National Indie Excellence Book Awards! This is the first book award that the highly acclaimed Warrior Wisdom Series has won. These books have been highly reviewed and praised for their wisdom by people from martial artists to military personnel, and from teachers to housewives. It is a wonderful honor to also be recognized by the professional literary community.

If you haven’t read Warrior Wisdom yet, now is the time to find out what all of the buzz is about. Warrior Wisdom is not for martial artists only – the wisdom it contains is for everyone who wants to live a life of excellence. The excitement about Warrior Wisdom seems to be gaining more and more momentum and evidenced by this wonderful honor. To read the many reviews on Warrior Wisdom, click on this link: Warrior Wisdom Reviews.

Karma: Everything Matters

Good Deeds return to the house of their author.
Iranian Proverb

The man slowly looked up.  This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life.  Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life.  His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

“Leave me alone,” he growled…  To his amazement, the woman continued standing.  She was smiling — her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.

“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“No,” he answered sarcastically. “I’ve just come from dining with the president.. Now go away.”

The woman’s smile became even broader.

Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm.  ”What are you doing, lady?” the man asked angrily. “I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up.  ”Is there any problem, ma’am?” he asked..

“No problem here, officer,” the woman answered.  ”I’m just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?”

The officer scratched his head.  “That’s old Jack. He’s been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?”

“See that cafeteria over there?” she asked. “I’m going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.”

“Are you crazy, lady?” the homeless man resisted. “I don’t want to go in there!”  Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.
“Let me go, officer. I didn’t do anything.”

“This is a good deal for you, Jack,” the officer answered. “Don’t blow it.”
Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner.  It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.

The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table.  “What’s going on here, officer?” he asked. “What is all this, is this man in trouble?”

“This lady brought this man in here to be fed,” the policeman answered.

“Not in here!” the manager replied angrily. “Having a person like that here is bad for business.”

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin.  ”See, lady. I told you so. Now if you’ll let me go. I didn’t want to come here in the first place.”

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled.  ”Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?”

“Of course I am,” the manager answered impatiently. “They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.”

“And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?”

“What business is that of yours?”

I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.”

“Oh…”

The woman smiled again..  ”I thought that might make a difference.”

She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh.  “Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?”

“No thanks, ma’am,” the officer replied. “I’m on duty.”

“Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?”

“Yes, ma’am. That would be very nice.”

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel.  ”I’ll get your coffee for you right away, officer.”

The officer watched him walk away.  ”You certainly put him in his place,” he said.

“That was not my intent…  Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.”

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest.  She stared at him intently.

“Jack, do you remember me?”

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes.  ”I think so — I mean you do look familiar.”

“I’m a little older perhaps,” she said.  ”Maybe I’ve even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.”

“Ma’am?” the officer said questioningly.  He couldn’t believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

“I was just out of college,” the woman began.  ”I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn’t find anything.  Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment.  I walked the streets for days.  It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.”

Jack lit up with a smile.  “Now I remember,” he said.  ”I was behind the serving counter.  You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat.  I said that it was against company policy.”

“I know,” the woman continued.  ”Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it.  I was afraid that you would get into trouble.  Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right.”

“So you started your own business?” Old Jack said.

“I got a job that very afternoon.  I worked my way up.  Eventually I started my own business that prospered…”  She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. ”When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He’s the personnel director of my company.  I’ll go talk to him now and I’m certain he’ll find something for you to do around the office.”

She smiled.  ”I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet.  If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you.”

Your goodwill toward others returns to yourself in the end.
Japanese Proverb

There is no act, however trivial, but has its train of consequences.
Samuel Smiles

Bohdi Sanders
Warrior Wisdom

The Tale of Two Pebbles

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer’s beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer’s debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven.
3) If she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer’s field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should know that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The girl’s dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.

What would you recommend that the girl do?

Well, here is what she did. . .

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

“Oh, how clumsy of me!” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.”

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY?

There is always an answer, but many times it is not obvious.

Bohdi Sanders
Warrior Wisdom

Good & Evil

There are always two forces
warring against each other within us.
Paramahansa Yogananda

What does it mean to be a good person? What does it mean to be an evil person? We hear these terms thrown around often, “He is a good guy.” or “That man is evil.” But what do these things really mean? Are we even in a position to judge whether someone is good or evil? These are questions which seem simple to answer, that is until you start to truly examine them closer.

Moral philosophy is nothing else
but the science of good and evil.
Thomas Hobbes

While it is pretty obvious when someone is truly evil down to his core, it is a little trickier to know whether or not someone is really a good person. We know that some people are purely evil. People such as serial killers, ruthless dictators who kill thousands of innocent people, and politicians (I had to throw that in there!).  hahaha  The evil man is fairly obvious to recognize after his actions have been brought to light, but what about the good man?

How do you recognize a good man? Is it by his words? Is it the fact that he doesn’t kill or rob other people? Does his actions prove that he is a good man? What are the characteristics of a good man? People say all sorts of things, and have been known to lie… Many people refrain from breaking the law out of fear of punishment, not because they are good people… A man’s actions can be only for show…

Things do not pass for what they are,
but for what they seem…
Things are judged by how they look,
even though most things are far
different from what they appear.
Baltasar Gracian

Are you starting to get the point? It is much harder to truly know if someone is honestly a good person. The reason for this is that in order to know if someone is truly a good person, you have to have some insight into their spirit, their heart, and their mind. The truly good person is good on the inside. It has to get right on the inside before it can ever be right on the outside. This is where is gets tricky.

Good means not merely not to do wrong,
but rather not to desire to do wrong.
Democritus

How can you really know what is inside someone’s mind. What are his intentions. When you get down to it, it is a person’s underlying intentions which make him a good person or a bad person. Things are never as black and white as they seem on the surface. John Wayne said, “There’s right and there’s wrong.” This is true. Right and wrong are black and white, but being able to distinguish between the two is not so clean-cut. This is why you should be very careful about judging others.

A door must either be open or shut.
French Proverb

To every man there opens a high way and a low way,
every man decides the way his soul will go.
John Oxenham

We have to be careful about judging others simply because we don’t have access to all the information that we need to make a clear judgment. We can’t see what is in someone’s mind. We don’t know their intentions. Many people act in a certain way simply to maintain their cleverly constructed reputation, but this may or may not be who they truly are. It takes time and close association to really know someone.

The most exhausting thing in life,
I have discovered, is being insincere.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The good man is good inside and out. His actions mirror his thoughts. His intentions are pure, although many times the results of his actions may not go as he had planned. His heart is cleansed of malice. Whether or not someone is a good person depends on much more than whether he obeys the law or goes to church. Too many people judge people on these external traits without considering what is on the inside.

With sincerity, there is virtue.
Shinto Maxim

The first duty is to behave with purity of intention.
Sheikh Muzaffer

Don’t be too quick to judge someone or to label them as either a good person or a bad person. Just like every other decision, it is foolish to jump to a conclusion without knowing all the facts. Next time you are tempted to make a judgment or take someone’s word concerning someone’s character, ask yourself if you have all of the information that you need to make an intelligent decision about this person. Good and evil are black and white, but your ability to discern each is a giant gray area.

Appear as you are; be as you appear.
Rumi

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom

Rose Colored Glasses

The sky is not less blue because
the blind man does not see it.
Danish Proverb

Everyone is the same… People are people… I have tons of friends… That kind of thing only happens to other people… These are all comments which I hear from people who “wear rose colored glasses.”  They see the world as they believe it to be or as they want it to be, not as it actually is. These people live in their own little fantasy world where everything is colored according to their viewpoint.

Is not the truth the truth?
Shakespeare

While it is true that we all see things from a certain point of view which is colored by our own biases or prejudices, we should make an effort to see things as they actually are. You may argue, what does it hurt if someone sees the world in a certain way, as long as they aren’t bothering anyone else? Well, in actuality it may not hurt them at all. They may live their whole life without their distorted beliefs affecting them. Then again, they may not.

Someone may see rattlesnakes as a loving, misunderstood creature. They may truly believe that rattlesnakes are not dangerous or poisonous. This belief, although it is untrue, may make them feel all warm, loving and one with the earth. It may make this person feel safe when he goes out hiking in the hills…and this belief may never have any adverse affect on this person at all, that is as long as he never find himself face to face with a rattlesnake or steps over a bush and is bitten by a rattlesnake. His thoughts do not change reality…

A light is still a light, even though
the blind man cannot see it.
Austrian Proverb

Likewise, this person may love to wear his rose colored glasses outside in his backyard and his white shed may look rosy to him. He may enjoy his perception of the nice rosy color of his shed. It may make him feel peaceful and relaxed or meditative and reflective…but none of this changes the fact that his shed is white. If he wants to think of it as rose colored, that is his choice, but he is making a decision to deceive himself.

Truth is exact correspondence with reality.
Paramahansa Yogananda

The same principle goes for other believes such as the ones which I listed at the beginning of this blog post. “Everyone is the same.” No, they are not. “People are people.” Wrong again. Different people have different moral values and many people do not value life as you or I do. “I have lots of friends.” No you don’t. “Those kinds of things always happen to other people.” Not hardly…

These kinds of thoughts may make people feel all warm and fuzzy inside. They may be socially acceptable or politically correct, but that does not make them true. And the same principle applies to these thoughts as it does to the guy’s thoughts about the rattlesnake…you may go all of your life without these “rose colored thoughts” affecting you, unless you run into someone who proves to you that your thoughts are bogus.

Truth doesn’t change because it is, or is not,
believed by a majority of the people.
Giordano Bruno

If however, this person runs into the stark reality of a gruff, scarred hand that reaches up an grabs those rose colored glasses from his face, he will be shocked to face the actual reality of the way things truly are. He will find out the hard way that his thoughts are flawed. This can be a rude awakening…

Facts do not cease to exist
because they are ignored.
Aldous Huxley

There really is no benefit in deceiving yourself. Isn’t is better to see things as they truly are? The truth doesn’t change simply because we refuse to see it or want it to be different. The truth simply is the truth. Things are as they are. You have the choice to see things as you will, but I highly recommend taking off those rose colored glasses, at least sometimes…

Truth will always be truth, regardless of
lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance.
W. Clement Stone

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom

Warrior Wisdom Book: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior

What Women Want

The wise focus their
attention inside.
Lao Tzu

I get a lot of emails, and many of them come from women who read my blogs or have read my book. One of the common topics that I hear repeated, not only in the emails that I received, but also in listening to conversations throughout my everyday travels, concerns what women actually want from a man. A lot of the emails that I receive are from female readers who say, “YES! The warrior is the kind of man that every woman wants! Where are men like this today?”

Let them know a real man,
who lives as he was meant to live.
Marcus Aurelius

It seems that no matter how hard ….Hollywood…., celebrities, feminists, etc. try to push the image of the metro-sexual male or the feminist man who has to depend on the wife to take care of things because he is a spineless, witless, buffoon, deep inside most women still love the stereotypical warrior which I write about in my book and blogs. They want a man who has character, integrity and honor. They want a man who has courage and who is willing to take care of them, provide for them, and protect them.

Now, I’m not saying that women want someone who simply wants to keep them pregnant and barefoot. That is not how the warrior looks at his wife or his girlfriend at all. If you have read much of my writing, you already know that. The warrior has the utmost respect for his wife and family. He spends time with them. They are the most important thing in the world to him, which is why he is willing to provide for them and protect them, even unto the death. No matter what other duties the warrior has, his wife and family always come first, if he is truly walking the path of the warrior. And this is something that every woman wants.

If you would be wise, provide for your house,
and love your wife in your arms. Fill her stomach,
clothe her back; oil is the remedy for her limbs.
Gladden her heart during your lifetime,
for she is an estate profitable to his lord.
Do not be harsh, for gentleness
masters her more than strength.
Give to her that for which she sighs
and that toward which her eye looks.
Ptah-Hotep

I realize that many of my readers will disagree with me on this point. They will want to argue that their duty to their country or their fellow soldiers comes first, or that their duty as a cop or a fireman comes first. To this I say hogwash! As a warrior, your first and foremost duty is to your wife and family, not your job or your profession. It is one thing to put other things first when you do not have a wife or family, but once you make that commitment, your priorities have to change. And this is what most women that have either written me or talked with me, seem to want – a man who is willing to put her first, a man that she can always count on to be there for her.

I can hear the feathers ruffling as I type, “What do you mean Bohdi?? Are you saying that I should neglect my duty??” Not at all, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that your wife and family have to come first. We all still have to work and do our job, and many times we had rather be at home with our family instead of working, but that’s life. This doesn’t mean that you don’t put your family first. Working is providing for your family, and is a necessity in life, but you had better have the pecking order straight in your mind. If you don’t put your family first, who will?

What I am saying is that the warrior walks by his own set of rules and values, his own code if you will. He has the courage to live by his own law. He isn’t a sheep. No one else controls him or tells him what does or does not come first in his life. He sets the rules and sometimes they may not jive with the norm of society. So what? He is not concerned with society’s political correctness or the way things have always been done. He is concerned with his personal duty, and he decides the hierarchy of his duties.

Highly evolved people have
their own conscience as pure law.
Lao Tzu

What I must do is all that concerns me,
not what the people think.
Emerson

The women that I have talked to want a man who is strong enough to decide what he believes in and who will stand for those beliefs. They want a man with backbone and character. They want someone who they can trust with their life, who they can depend on without question. Women want a man who they know is honest, sincere, and who will put their family first. A man who will honor and respect them is at the top of their list. No matter how much our “advanced” society pushes the image of the lovable buffoon as the image of the nice, desirable husband, this is not the feedback that women are giving me.

Do the character traits above sound familiar? Well, they do if you have spent much time reading my blog or have read Warrior Wisdom, they describe the warrior. The warrior is a man of honor, character, and integrity. He has a strong sense of filial duty and duty to his family. He is honest, trustworthy and sincere. He is a man of courage and has both the will and ability to back up his ideals. The warrior understands respect and honor, and they are a synergistic part of his life. The true warrior is truly the man that women describe to me as their perfect man.

The master warrior is
a man of character,
a man of wisdom and insight.
Forrest E. Morgan

Many women seem to go for the bad boy. Maybe this is because they really want someone who is a warrior, but their image of what the warrior really is, is skewed by movies and television. They consider a man who is rugged and tough to be the image of the warrior, but soon they find that this bad boy, is not a true warrior, but rather a thug. He lacks the character and principles of the true warrior, which is truly what women are looking for in a man. Soon they trade the bad boy for the nice guy, which although he may not be a warrior, he is at least not a thug and will provide a home for her.

Look for benefits that last.
Ten Bears

It is not enough to make something look good.
The underlying principle must be good.
Joyce Sequichie Hifler

What women are truly looking for is the perfect combination of the bad boy and the provider. The man who has principles, character, and is rugged and tough enough to protect her if the occasion arises. This is the picture that has been painted for me from the many emails that I have received, and it is the image of the true warrior – the man of excellence. Balance is important in everything, and I think that it is also important when it comes to what women what from men.

Stop talking about what the
good man is like, and just be one.
Marcus Aurelius

The superior man demands it of himself;
the inferior man demands it of others.
Confucius

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom

Modern Code of Chivalry
based on the “Old Code”

Prowess: To seek excellence in all endeavors expected of a knight, martial and otherwise, seeking strength to be used in the service of justice, rather than in personal aggrandizement.

Justice: Seek always the path of ‘right’, unencumbered by bias or personal interest. Recognize that the sword of justice can be a terrible thing, so it must be tempered by humanity and mercy. If the ‘right’ you see rings agrees with others, and you seek it out without bending to the temptation for expediency, then you will earn renown beyond measure.

Loyalty: Be known for unwavering commitment to the people and ideals you choose to live by. There are many places where compromise is expected; loyalty is not amongst them.

Defense: The ideal knight was sworn by oath to defend his liege lord and those who depended upon him. Seek always to defend your nation, your family, and those to whom you believe worthy of loyalty.

Courage: Being a knight often means choosing the more difficult path, the personally expensive one. Be prepared to make personal sacrifices in service of the precepts and people you value. At the same time, a knight should seek wisdom to see that stupidity and courage are cousins. Courage also means taking the side of truth in all matters, rather than seeking the expedient lie. Seek the truth whenever possible, but remember to temper justice with mercy, or the pure truth can bring grief.

Faith: A knight must have faith in his beliefs, for faith roots him and gives hope against the despair that human failings create.

Humility: Value first the contributions of others; do not boast of your own accomplishments, let others do this for you. Tell the deeds of others before your own, according them the renown rightfully earned through virtuous deeds. In this way the office of knighthood is well done and glorified, helping not only the gentle spoken of but also all who call themselves knights.

Largesse: Be generous in so far as your resources allow; largesse used in this way counters gluttony. It also makes the path of mercy easier to discern when a difficult decision of justice is required.

Nobility: Seek great stature of character by holding to the virtues and duties of a knight, realizing that though the ideals cannot be reached, the quality of striving towards them ennobles the spirit, growing the character from dust towards the heavens. Nobility also has the tendency to influence others, offering a compelling example of what can be done in the service of rightness.

Franchise: Seek to emulate everything I have spoken of as sincerely as possible, not for the reason of personal gain but because it is right. Do not restrict your exploration to a small world, but seek to infuse every aspect of your life with these qualities. Should you succeed in even a tiny measure then you will be well remembered for your quality and virtue.

Bohdi Sanders
The Wisdom Warrior

The Code of Chivalry
Rifts: England Supplement

Live to serve King and Country.
Live to defend Crown and Country and all it holds dear.
Live one’s life so that it is worthy of respect and honor.
Live for freedom, justice and all that is good.
Never attack an unarmed foe.
Never use a weapon on an opponent not equal to the attack.
Never attack from behind.
Avoid lying to your fellow man.
Avoid cheating.
Avoid torture.
Obey the law of king, country, and chivalry.
Administer justice.
Protect the innocent.
Exhibit self control.
Show respect to authority.
Respect women.
Exhibit Courage in word and deed.
Defend the weak and innocent.
Destroy evil in all of its monstrous forms.
Crush the monsters that steal our land and rob our people.
Fight with honor.
Avenge the wronged.
Never abandon a friend, ally, or noble cause.
Fight for the ideals of king, country, and chivalry.
Die with valor.
Always keep one’s word of honor.
Always maintain one’s principles.
Never betray a confidence or comrade.
Avoid deception.
Respect life and freedom.
Die with honor.
Exhibit manners.
Be polite and attentive.
Be respectful of host, women, and honor.
Loyalty to country, King, honor, freedom, and the code of chivalry.
Loyalty to one’s friends and those who lay their trust in thee.

Bohdi Sanders
The Wisdom Warrior

The Ten Commandments of the Code of Chivalry
by Leon Gautier

Thou shalt believe all that the Church teaches, and shalt observe all its directions.
Thou shalt defend the Church.
Thou shalt respect all weaknesses, and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.
Thou shalt love the country in the which thou wast born.
Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.
Thou shalt make war against the Infidel without cessation, and without mercy.
Thou shalt perform scrupulously thy feudal duties, if they be not contrary to the laws of God.
Thou shalt never lie, and shall remain faithful to thy pledged word.
Thou shalt be generous, and give largess to everyone.
Thou shalt be everywhere and always the champion of the Right and the Good against Injustice and Evil.

Bohdi Sanders
The Wisdom Warrior

What is a Real Warrior?

What makes someone a warrior? Is it the job that he has? Is someone automatically a warrior because he works as a policeman or is in the military? Is someone less of a warrior if they are a school teacher, rather than a policeman? These are all questions which should be considered. We hear a lot about the warrior professions and about how this group or that group are true warriors, but being a warrior has nothing to do with with your profession or which group you may or may not belong to. It has to do with who you really are as a person.

You can be a policeman or be part of the military and not be a warrior. There are countless examples which testify to this fact, many of which have been in the news lately. A person can work as a cop or make a career of the military without ever coming close to being a real warrior. This has always been the case and probably always will be the case. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not bashing cops or the military. These are both honorable professions. But there are many honorable professions in this world.

Often man is preoccupied with human rules and forgets the inner law.
Antoine the Healer

There always have been and always will be warriors who have nothing to do with the “warrior professions.” Was Bruce Lee less of a warrior because he was a teacher and an actor? Or was Ginchin Funokoshi less of a warrior because he chose to be a teacher instead of a policeman? Is the crooked cop a warrior just because he happens to be a cop? I don’t think so. Warriors can be found throughout our society, in different positions and at different levels. You don’t become a warrior just because you get a certain job.

Honor cannot be bought.
Philippine Proverb

Being a warrior goes much, much deeper than how you happen to make your living. It goes to the core of who you are. Being a warrior is a lifestyle, not a profession. I know some cops who are truly warriors and I also know some cops who are as much of a criminal as the people who they arrest. Your profession doesn’t matter, as long as it is not dishonorable. What matters is what is in your spirit. Are you really a warrior or do you merely want to be thought of as a warrior?

One must make the warrior walk his everyday walk.
Miyamoto Musashi

The definition of a warrior is someone who takes part in war or who is experienced in warfare, but I think that the true definition of a warrior goes much deeper than that. A real warrior is more than someone who takes part in warfare. He is someone who lives by a set of principles or a code of ethics. There are many people around the world who have taken part in warfare, to some degree, who I doubt anyone would consider a real warrior. The real warrior is concerned with character, integrity and honor, as well as martial arts skills and training. He takes the lifestyle of the warrior seriously. He has respect for others and for life. He is not a pretender, but the real deal.

The master warrior is a man of character, a man of wisdom and insight.
Forrest E. Morgan

The best book that I have read pertaining to the lifestyle of the warrior is Living the Martial Way by Forrest E. Morgan. If you haven’t read this book, you should get a copy. It is great. There are some other good books on the subject, but this is my favorite. Whether you are a police officer, a martial artist, a teacher, a lawyer, or in the military, you should do your best to live the lifestyle of the real warrior. It is not something that you do, it is something that you are. The lifestyle of the warrior is not something that everyone can live up to, this is why the true warrior is an uncommon find in today’s society. Strive to be different. Strive to be a real warrior.

Bohdi Sanders
The Wisdom Warrior

The Warrior Walk

Being a warrior is a huge responsibility. Walking the path of the warrior is not something that you can decide to do for a couple of months then take a few days off and come back to it later. To be a true warrior, you have to commit to this lifestyle. The warrior is a warrior, period. He does not pretend to be a warrior, try to be a warrior, want to be a warrior; he is a warrior. Therefore, the warrior walk must be his everyday walk, there is no other way. There is no such thing as the “weekend warrior.” Either you are a warrior or you are not a warrior.

One must make the warrior walk his everyday walk.
Miyamoto Musashi

This does not mean that a warrior has to be in training every minute of every day. In today’s world this is an impossibility for most people. What this does mean is that every day the warrior is living up to the ideals that a warrior should live by, whether he is at work, on vacation, or just relaxing at home. The warrior makes these ideals a permanent part of his character, daily. He lives by his code of honor.

From Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior
by Bohdi Sanders, PhD

The Wisdom Warrior

Honor is Sacred

Honor was sacred to the Native American warrior, and honor is sacred to the “real” warrior today. The warrior takes his code of ethics and his character very seriously. If he owes someone a debt, he pays it. If he gives his word, he keeps it. When he sees someone in need of help, he helps. When he knows what is right to do, he acts. All of these things are part of his duty, and he takes his duty very seriously.

Honor is sacred.
Native American Maxim

The average person today looks out for his own interest. That is the major factor in the majority of his decisions. The warrior looks at what is right according to his code of ethics. That is the deciding factor for the warrior. The average person today may witness someone getting mugged on the street and decide not to get involved because it is too dangerous. The warrior, being in the same position, does not have the luxury of that decision. He is honor bound to help this victim if it is within his power.

Many times it is hard to live by this code of honor, but the serious warrior does it anyway because he knows it is his duty, as a warrior and as a man. His dedication to his code of honor is one of the main things that sets the character of the warrior apart from the average man. Honor is not something that you put on and take off as it is convenient for you. Honor is sacred.

From Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior
Bohdi Sanders, PhD

The Wisdom Warrior