Warriors do not lower themselves
to the standards of other people;
they live independently, according
to their own standards and code of honor.
Bohdi Sanders
Let’s say you are shopping at your local grocery store filled with several elderly people, and some punk is walking down the aisle loudly spouting profanity, offending these elderly ladies. If you approach him in a polite way and show him the error of his ways, there is nothing wrong with that. But if you approach him, loudly rip him, with some four letter words of your own, and put him in his place, you have been just as discourteous to those in the store as he was.
You let his actions upset you and you lost your temper, when in fact, you could have accomplished the same goal without lowering yourself to his standard of behavior. You do not have to be rude or discourteous to get your point across. Philip Dormer Stanhope wrote, “An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid.” You can be forceful and resolute without being loud and rude. As Sir John Vanbrugh said, “Good manners and soft words have brought many a difficult thing to pass.”
Just about now I can hear you thinking, “Yeah, but this jerk didn’t deserve to be treated with respect. He deserved to be firmly put in his place!” And you would be completely right. The guy in my example certainly would not deserve to be treated in a courteous manner. He was acting like a jerk and would deserve to be put in his place, but remember, there is always a best way to do everything. As Clint Eastwood said in Unforgiven, “Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.”
