Bohdi Sanders discusses the Real Power of Self-Control

When you can’t control what’s happening,
challenge yourself to control the way
you respond to what’s happening.
That’s where the power is!

Control your mind to discover your real power. You don’t have the power to control everyone and everything. People will cause you problems and challenges; they will behave maliciously and try to hurt or offend you. Life will always throw unexpected challenges your way and there’s nothing that you can do about that.

You can’t always control what’s happening in your life, but you can always control the way that you respond to what’s happening. You always have the power to choose to respond instead of to react.

When you choose to respond instead of simply reacting to others or to the circumstances, you maintain your power and control. When you mindlessly react to the words or actions of others, you allow them to control you; you give away your ultimate power – the power to choose how you will respond.

It is common to hear people say, “He made me so mad!” or “It’s your fault; you made me do it!” Not only are these statements lies, but they are confessions that you gave away your power to someone else. You chose to give them control over you.

Why would you choose to allow anyone to control you? You might answer that you would never choose to allow anyone to control you. But that is exactly what you are doing when you mindlessly react to the words or actions of others instead of thoughtfully responding to them.

You may be thinking that this is simply words games or semantics, but it isn’t. A reaction is behavior, a feeling, or an action that is a direct result of something else, like someone else’s actions or words; it is automatic. But a response is not automatic; you choose how you will respond.

Think of it like this, if you get a nasty letter from someone and it “makes” you angry or upset, that is a reaction to the letter. If you respond to the letter, you must think about what you want to say and then you respond to it. It takes no thought to allow yourself to react to the letter, but that is allowing the letter to control your emotions. It is easy to get angry or upset over it; all you have to do is allow your emotions to take control of your mind.

On the other hand, if you want to maintain your power and control of the situation, and your emotions, you can choose how you will respond to the letter. You can choose not to have any emotional reaction to it at all or you can choose to respond in a specific way. When you respond, you are in control, not your emotions; and that gives you all the power.

No one else can control your emotions or your mind unless you consciously or unconsciously allow them to control you. Allowing someone else to take control of your mind or emotions is easy. It takes no effort, which is why the vast majority of people live this way.

Choosing to respond instead of reacting, on the other hand, takes self-control and discipline. It takes effort, which is why most people simply choose to allow others to control them. They choose the easy path instead of the right path. It is always easier to sit on the couch and watch television than it is to get up, take control of your life, and go train or workout. But the easy path is not always what’s best for you.

In the same way, it is easier to react than to respond, but that is not the best way to live your life. Why would you want to give someone else the power to control you? When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where the power is! Warrior up and take control of your own life. Don’t give anyone the power to control your mind or emotions!

Bohdi Sanders
author of the #1 Bestsellers
MODERN BUSHIDO and MEN of the CODE