Do You Miss What You Never Knew?

Do you miss what you never knew? This may sound like a strange question. After all, how can anyone miss something that they have never known or never experienced? At first this seems impossible because if you have no firsthand knowledge or experience with something, you can’t miss that thing, right? This does make sense. It is only rational that a person cannot miss something which he or she has never experienced, but sometimes people are not rational.

Many people in fact do miss what they never knew, and they do this on a daily basis. Not only is this irrational, but living life in this way, carries with it many unpleasant consequences. How does someone miss what he or she never knew? The answer is simple. When someone is not satisfied with what is, and is constantly dreaming or wishing for other things, things which he may have no experience of, but which are constantly preying on his mind, then he finds himself missing what he has never known.

Allowing your thoughts to dwell on all the nice things which you don’t have, but wish you did have, brings you to this point. For example, you may have an average car which runs fine, but is not flashy or modern. If, instead of being thankful for the car you have, you allow your mind to constantly dwell on the fact that you wish you had a Porsche, you will find that you are unhappy with your car and that you feel unsatisfied with your average run-of-the-mill car. In effect, you find that you are missing that Porsche, even though you may have never before even sat behind the steering wheel of a Porsche.

This kind of thinking leads to discontentment. You will find that you are constantly unsatisfied with your present state, and wishing that your life was different. This is not productive thinking. To be content, you must accept things as they are. Accepting things as they are does not mean that you don’t want to improve your life. It does not mean that you have no goals or that you are not motivated to strive for the things that you want out of life. It simply means that your happiness is not dependent on external things. The content man is happy whether he is driving an old truck or an expensive sports car.

The happiness of your life depends
on the quality of your thoughts;
therefore, guard accordingly.
Marcus Aurelius

Happiness doesn’t depend upon
who you are or what you have;
it depends solely upon what you think.
Dale Carnegie

Being content does not mean that you don’t strive to be better. It merely means that you are content with what is, right now in this present moment. Contentment does not mean that you settle for less than the best that you can be or for less than you want out of life. You should always seek to improve yourself. Being content does not mean that you rest on your laurels, feeling that your life is perfect as is. It means that you accept things as they are now, in this moment, but at the same time, you are working to make the next moment, day, month, or year, even better. Being content does not mean that you don’t strive to be better; you should always be working to perfect your character. Always move forward, but at the same time do not let what you don’t have spoil your enjoyment of what you do have.

Every person on this planet is in danger of missing what they never knew if they do not learn to control their mind and learn to be content with what is, in the present moment. This irrational thinking does not plague only the poor man who has very little as far as material things go; it also plagues the rich. This is because happiness is not dependent on material things. Happiness comes from the inside. While it is perfectly normal for people to desire nice things, it is counterproductive to allow these desires to constantly plague your mind; doing so will lead to nothing but unhappiness and inability to enjoy life.

The essence of philosophy is that a man
should so live that his happiness shall depend
as little as possible on external things.
Epictetus

Life is much too short to not enjoy each and every day. You can’t afford to waste days, months, or years of your life wishing for things to be different. Enjoy what is, right now, this very moment. Live every day. Find joy in the simple things, while at the same time working to improve your life in the future. This is a concept that all of the sages throughout the ages have taught. You must find contentment within yourself. Don’t allow your happiness to be dependent on anything outside of yourself – not material things, and not other people.

To live happily is an inward power of the soul.
Marcus Aurelius

A happy life consists in tranquility of mind.
Cicero

Happiness depends on ourselves.
Aristotle

There is only one thing that you have total control over, and that is your mind and your actions. You do not control what other people do or say, but you do have control over how you respond to other peoples’ actions or words. You do not have total control over your circumstances, but you do have total control over your responses to your circumstances. Contentment resides in the mind, therefore it is something that you have control over. It is up to you to decide whether or not you will live a life of contentment or whether you will live a life of discontent where you continually miss the things that you never knew.

Don’t postpone living until sometime later, when everything is perfect – LIVE NOW. Things may never be perfect, but that will only affect your contentment if you allow it to. You have to learn to live above the petty annoyances that everyone has to live with in this life. Learn to accept life as it is and enjoy it no matter what comes. It is perfectly fine to want more out of life as long as you are enjoying each step of your journey. Where people go wrong is when their desire for a better life prevents them from enjoying their present life. Don’t miss what you never knew; enjoy what you presently have and work towards what you ultimately want.

The short bloom of our brief and narrow life flies fast away.
While we are calling for flowers and wine and women,
old age is upon us.
Juvenal

Bohdi
Warrior Wisdom

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Click on the link below to read the 2010 July-Aug Newsletter. It is good stuff!

2010 July-Aug The Wisdom Warrior Newsletter

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Bohdi

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The WISDOM WARRIOR NEWSLETTER

The first edition of the new Wisdom Warrior Newsletter will be going out this week!

This has been a long time in coming, but I think that my readers will enjoy it very much. This edition will feature articles by Dr. Charlie Ward and author Cherokee Parks, as well as a couple of articles from Bohdi Sanders, and lots of wisdom for your journey.

If you haven’t subscribed yet, now is the time. You can subscribe on the main page of the Wisdom Warrior website…and it’s FREE!! Don’t miss this chance to read the very first edition of The Wisdom Warrior Newsletter – it’s going to be good!!

Live with Honor!

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Are you a good person? When you get right down to it, this is the most important question in life. If you are not a good person, it does not matter how many degrees you have, it does not matter how great your martial arts skills are, it does not matter how much money you make. In the end, the bottom line is, are you a good person.

What is a good person? A good person is someone who helps others, who goes out of his way to do nice things for others, who shares both his life and resources with those around him. A good person tries his best to protect those who he can protect. He tries to be positive and encourage others who are having a hard time. Without helping others, it really is impossible to be a completely good person.

You may argue that a monk who isolates himself in the wilderness is a really good person. He doesn’t wrong others, focuses on strengthening his spirit, prays, and in general, does harm to none. But is this really being a good person? Sure the isolated monk is not harming anyone, is focused on improving himself spiritually, and is devoted to developing a relationship with the Creator, but is this enough to be considered a really good person? If you look at the monk’s action from another point of view, he could be considered very selfish and narcissistic.

None of the sages, prophets, or great teachers live a life of isolation. Oh, they may have spent periods of time in isolation, as should we all, but their main focus was on helping and enlightening others, not simply improving themselves. This is an important consideration for the true warrior. While it is true that the true warrior is focused on self-improvement and making his life a life of excellence, it should not be focused on merely selfish ends.

If the warrior is not truly a good person inside, he is merely another narcissistic, ego driven person who is doing all that he is doing simply to make himself feel better about who he is. Without service to others, he is not a true warrior. Being a good person is truly the cornerstone of being a true warrior. If you aren’t a good person, nothing else really matters when you get right down to it; you are simply another self-centered person who has martial arts as a hobby instead of knitting or woodworking.

Don’t get so caught up in your work, your training, your meditation, or anything else, that you neglect to do what you can to make other people’s lives better. You may think that you can’t really do anything to help others because you are barely scraping by yourself. After all, how can you help anyone else if you can’t even help yourself? While it is true that you can’t share what you don’t have, it is also true that we all have enough to make someone else’s life a little better.

It cost nothing to give someone a compliment or give someone a warm smile. It cost nothing to help an elderly lady with her bags. It cost nothing to listen to someone who needs someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry on. I go for early morning walks, and one of my neighbors is in her 90’s. During my walk, I take just a few seconds to take her newspaper from the street and put it at her doorstep. Mind you, this is a small act, but it does enable her to get her newspaper without having to walk down 5-6 steps and out to the street. She has no idea of who is doing this, and that doesn’t matter. It is just a simple thing that is nice to do.

You may think that this is really not “helping” her or that it is just me trying to make myself feel good, and that there is really no good coming from this act, but you never know. This simple act may prevent her from falling one morning. The smallest acts of kindness can have ripples that you could never imagine. You simply don’t know what all of the consequences of your actions may be, both the bad actions and the good actions. Don’t be concerned with the consequences or getting recognition; just do your best to help make others’ lives better as you go through your day.

There may in fact be no consequences to the example that I gave you about my neighbor’s newspapers besides making it easier for her to get her morning paper, but that is enough. But then again, who knows; the law of karma is always at work. Maybe when I am an old man, my daily newspapers may mysteriously appear at my front door step instead of under my car, in the middle of my flowers, or out in the street (the usual places for me to pick up my papers). The bottom line is, you should do acts such as this simply because it is the nice thing to do.

A warrior who only thinks of himself is not a true warrior, I don’t care how skilled he may be in the martial arts. Being a truly good person is the basis for being a true warrior. I will not let another day go by that I don’t do something nice for as many people as I can. Life is too short and too hard; do what you can to make the lives of those who cross your path just a little better, even if all you can do is give them a smile and treat them with respect.

Are you a good person?

What have you done for someone else today?

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Joe Bad Ass:
The Psychology of Intimidation

The psychology of intimidation can be a tricky thing. I have friends who are ex-lawmen or long-time martial artists who have asked me about the fact that people they meet seem to be intimidated by them, and I have experienced the same thing when I meet someone new or at the beginning of school when I have all new students who do not know me. Students seem to think that I am a mean, no-nonsense kind of guy, even before I open my mouth for the first time. What is it about certain people that intimidates others?

One of my favorite authors, Forrest Morgan addresses this in his book, Living the Martial Way. Morgan states, and I paraphrase, that after a certain amount of time training in the martial way, warriors develop a certain energy that other people can sense. This energy, you can call it chi or ki or whatever you like, emits a certain feeling that other people can sense. They really do not know exactly what it is that they are feeling or sensing, but they just get the feeling that you are someone that should not be crossed.

The warrior is not consciously trying to intimidate those around him at all. In fact, it can be quite frustrating to give off this energy which seems to intimidate those around you instead of endearing them to you, as those of you who have experienced this can attest to. Mind you, this unseen energy is very useful when dealing with some thug or predator, but most of us prefer not to be seen as intimidating to our everyday acquaintances or the people whom we meet at our friends’ parties.

This unseen energy develops naturally as you continue to hone your skills in martial arts or self-defense. Some sense it as a strong self-confidence and other can sense it as simply someone who is standoffish or dangerous, but I can assure you that people can sense something different about true warriors. Many of you reading this know exactly what I am talking about – there is just something different about the warrior and people can sense it.

Although the true warrior appears to be intimidating to many people, it is truly not his intention (unless he is controlling and directing this energy intentionally in a dangerous situation). Predators and ruffians, on the other hand, intentionally use intimidation as a tool to achieve their dishonorable goals. The tools that they use to breed fear and intimidation can range from how they dress and look, to how they speak and present themselves. For example, take a look at the following group of photographs…

Imagine that you are walking down a dark street on your way home from having a couple of drinks with your co-workers. Which of these guys would you find the most intimidating? Which would you find not intimidating at all? Why? As you have probably already figured out, all of these photographs are of the same person, David Beckham, but even knowing this fact, some of these shots appear much more intimidating than others. Why is that? What makes him appear much tougher or more dangerous at one time than he does at some other time?

Is it the scowl on his face in some pictures? What about the tattoos or the hair style? Maybe it is the clothes he is wearing. Is someone more dangerous or deadly because he is unshaven and wearing jeans and a torn tee-shirt, than he is if he is wearing a polo shirt or a suit and tie? Under all of his different hair styles, tattoos, scowls, and poses, he is the same man. None of the external appearances make him any tougher or more dangerous. So why do we find different appearances to be so intimidating?

This is something that every true warrior needs to think about. You cannot allow your mind to dwell on the external appearance of your enemy (by enemy, I mean anyone who is a danger to you or your loved ones). Intimidation has to do with your mind, not the other person. Whether or not someone intimidates you is totally up to you. You have to realize that all of those external appearances mean very little. If things degenerate into a physical confrontation, you will not be fighting his weird hair, the ink spots on his body, or his raggedy looking clothes; you will be fighting a human being (I use the term loosely in this case).

Your path may cross with some tough
looking thug covered from head to toe with tattoos, with long, greasy
hair, and the meanest face you have ever seen, but does any of this make
this guy tougher or more of a threat than the clean cut guy you see at
the movie theater? All humans have pretty much the same anatomy – the same joints, ligaments, tendons, etc. No matter how scary some thug may look, his joints and bones can be attacked and destroyed just like the average Joe in the corner office, and just like your own.

Speech and threats are other forms of intimidation. It can be very intimidating when someone is yelling in your face or making overt threats to your well-being. This can make anyone uncomfortable, but remember, just as the tattoos, mean looking face, and rough exterior are not a sign of physical strength, neither is loud, boisterous speech. Many times yelling and threatening signify someone who is not capable of following through with his threats, but is merely trying to bluff and intimidate you into getting his way. It is the silent predator, who acts with no warning that is the most dangerous.

Do not allow someone to intimidate you by the way he looks or the way he talks. The intimidation factor is merely another weapon in his arsenal; it is his crude form of mental warfare. Protecting yourself from being intimidated in high-stress situations involves training for such a situation in advance. This is one of the purposes of realistic scenario training. Being confident in the face of an imposing, intimidating threat is something that you have to develop. It does not come naturally for most people.

If you lose the battle in your mind, your body will also fall to defeat. You have to develop your mind as well as your body. Self-defense involves much, much more than learning physical fighting techniques. Allowing fear and intimidation to cloud your mind puts you at a severe disadvantage. This fact has been well-known for centuries, thus the reason that even ancient war strategies included intimidation techniques. There can be no holes in your self-defense. This means that you have to keep your best weapon, your mind, prepared to defend against the intimidation factor.

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