Jaded Trust

Except for those whom you know to be good
from experience or from a completely trustworthy source,
it is wise to deal with all people with your eyes wide open…
the important point is:
don’t trust anyone unless you are sure you can.
Francesco Guicciardini

Trust is a small word, but can have some major implications. Trust in its definitive essence, is a confidence or reliance in the good qualities of others. To trust someone means that you are counting on that person’s adherence to his sense of fairness, truth, and honor – traits which seem to be in short supply in today’s world. That may sound like a negative and pessimistic view of our world today, but actually that is not a new observation concerning the character of humans.

Sages and wise men throughout the ages have held the opinion that the majority of men are not men of good character, and therefore it stands, not men to be trusted, at least not in matters of importance. Wise men such as Gracian, Voltaire, Goethe, La Rochefoucauld, Lord Chesterfield, and Guicciardini, all espoused this viewpoint of men in general. They all admonished us to be careful of trusting others, especially in matters that are important to your well-being.

I would advise you not to trust either [men or women],
more than is absolutely necessary.
Lord Chesterfield

It is hazardous to trust others,
for he who trusts others will be controlled by them.
Han Fei Tzu

I did not acquire this distrust of men from reading the writings of these men, although their writings have reinforced my suspicious nature. After all, you can’t be too far off target if you agree with men such as these. Time and time again, I have found that my philosophy of expecting men in general (I use the word men as in human beings, females are just as untrustworthy as males) to be dishonest and untrustworthy, has proved to be accurate.

For of men it may generally be affirmed that they are
thankless, fickle,false, studious to avoid danger, greedy of gain,
devoted to you while you are able to confer benefits upon them,
and ready, as I said before, while danger is distant,
to shed their blood, and sacrifice their property,
their lives, and their children for you;
but in the hour of need they turn against you.
Niccolo Machiavelli

I realize that there are some who would say that I am simply manifesting what I expect from those I meet. I highly doubt that, but hey, I could be wrong. I prefer to approach the world with my eyes wide open. I have been conned too many times. Instead of seeing myself as a pessimist or a negative nail, I prefer to think of myself as vigilant in assessing the character of others. People in general don’t seem to put what is right or honorable above what is profitable or comfortable.

Generally men have higher respect
for their interest than their duty.
Francesco Guicciardini

This way of life does have some drawbacks though. I tend to be a little less open and much more suspicious of others than those who prefer to trust everyone until they give them a reason not to trust them. These people go through life with a rosier outlook towards people in general, but tend to get taken for a ride much more often as a result of their trusting personality. I have heard them make statements such as, “It is better to trust people and get screwed, than to go through life distrustful.”

Maybe it is. I don’t know. Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that I am definitely not perfect or infallible. I don’t have all the answers. I do know that trusting the wrong person, at the wrong time can totally change the course of your life, and not in a good way. The warrior has a responsibility to those who depend on him to be watchful and, to a certain point, distrustful of those who cross his path. He has a duty to protect those whom he loves.

Men are so false, so insidious,
so deceitful and cunning in their wiles,
so avid in their own interest, and
so oblivious to other’s interest,
that you cannot go wrong if you
believe little and trust less.
Francesco Guicciardini

Is this the most comfortable, happy-go-lucky way to go through life? No, its not. Is it the safest way to go through life? I think so. As with most everything, it is balance that truly matters. There is a time to trust others and a time to be distrustful. Always listen to your intuition. It will rarely steer you wrong. As I said, I don’t have all the answers, but I do learn from experience, and experience has taught me that the sages and the words of the wise should be listened to. It has also taught me that people are not to be trusted…but every now and then you have to take the risk to trust that you aren’t the only person in this world who is a true human being – a true warrior.

Trust the instinct to the end,
though you can render no reason.
Emerson

Experience is a good school,
but the fees are high.
Heinrich Heine

Bohdi Sanders
Warrior Wisdom

Karma: Everything Matters

Good Deeds return to the house of their author.
Iranian Proverb

The man slowly looked up.  This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life.  Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life.  His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

“Leave me alone,” he growled…  To his amazement, the woman continued standing.  She was smiling — her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.

“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“No,” he answered sarcastically. “I’ve just come from dining with the president.. Now go away.”

The woman’s smile became even broader.

Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm.  ”What are you doing, lady?” the man asked angrily. “I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up.  ”Is there any problem, ma’am?” he asked..

“No problem here, officer,” the woman answered.  ”I’m just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?”

The officer scratched his head.  “That’s old Jack. He’s been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?”

“See that cafeteria over there?” she asked. “I’m going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.”

“Are you crazy, lady?” the homeless man resisted. “I don’t want to go in there!”  Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.
“Let me go, officer. I didn’t do anything.”

“This is a good deal for you, Jack,” the officer answered. “Don’t blow it.”
Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner.  It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.

The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table.  “What’s going on here, officer?” he asked. “What is all this, is this man in trouble?”

“This lady brought this man in here to be fed,” the policeman answered.

“Not in here!” the manager replied angrily. “Having a person like that here is bad for business.”

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin.  ”See, lady. I told you so. Now if you’ll let me go. I didn’t want to come here in the first place.”

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled.  ”Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?”

“Of course I am,” the manager answered impatiently. “They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.”

“And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?”

“What business is that of yours?”

I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.”

“Oh…”

The woman smiled again..  ”I thought that might make a difference.”

She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh.  “Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?”

“No thanks, ma’am,” the officer replied. “I’m on duty.”

“Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?”

“Yes, ma’am. That would be very nice.”

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel.  ”I’ll get your coffee for you right away, officer.”

The officer watched him walk away.  ”You certainly put him in his place,” he said.

“That was not my intent…  Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.”

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest.  She stared at him intently.

“Jack, do you remember me?”

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes.  ”I think so — I mean you do look familiar.”

“I’m a little older perhaps,” she said.  ”Maybe I’ve even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.”

“Ma’am?” the officer said questioningly.  He couldn’t believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

“I was just out of college,” the woman began.  ”I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn’t find anything.  Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment.  I walked the streets for days.  It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.”

Jack lit up with a smile.  “Now I remember,” he said.  ”I was behind the serving counter.  You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat.  I said that it was against company policy.”

“I know,” the woman continued.  ”Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it.  I was afraid that you would get into trouble.  Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right.”

“So you started your own business?” Old Jack said.

“I got a job that very afternoon.  I worked my way up.  Eventually I started my own business that prospered…”  She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. ”When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He’s the personnel director of my company.  I’ll go talk to him now and I’m certain he’ll find something for you to do around the office.”

She smiled.  ”I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet.  If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you.”

Your goodwill toward others returns to yourself in the end.
Japanese Proverb

There is no act, however trivial, but has its train of consequences.
Samuel Smiles

Bohdi Sanders
Warrior Wisdom